Hippo

Big sister's hippo is all finished. She will be so excited in the morning.

How is the lactation inducing going?

I've had this question a few times, so I should probably update.  I was getting about an ounce a day, and then I ran out of domperidone.  My supply went down to basically nothing.  I went to my doctor and asked if he would write a prescription so I could order it quicker from Canada, and he would not write the prescription.

So, I ordered from overseas and it took about 3 weeks for me to get it.  I actually got my new shipment on the day we got the call about our match.  What timing!

So, I started meds again about two weeks ago now and I'm getting a little more milk each day. Right now, about three days worth of pumping equals one ounce, but I'm expecting that to improve.  I am pumping as frequently as I can, but the ideal would be to pump every three hours (or so I've been told).

My pump also let me down (and not in the good way).  Apparently if the diaphragm cracks on a Medela Pump in Style, your pump is dead.  Sad.  So, I've rented a hospital pump for $55 a month.  A friend mailed her pump to me as well and I just got it yesterday.  I'm hoping it still has some life left in it.

Just because blog posts are more interesting with pictures, here is what I take everyday. This is just my "regular" vitamins: a multivitamin, Mammary PMG (a supplement for breast health), Prolamine Iodine, Chlorella, Calcium/Magnesium/D3, and Krill oil.

This is my lactation herb/med supply for one week.  I take 3 fenugreek, 3 blessed thistle, & 4 Domper-M (up from 3). I take all of that three times a day.

Elephant

I just finished this little guy for my little guy.  Next up is a hippo for my little girl.

Don't tell my husband. . .

He wants me to stop buying baby stuff (and he reads this blog so I'm tattling on myself).  If you saw these for 50% off, you couldn't pass them up either.

Anniversary Pictures

Matt won a silent auction at work for a night at the Hyatt and dinner at Skies.  I had never eaten there before, so I was excited.  Our anniversary was earlier this month and we celebrated a week late because of scheduling.

The Countdown Chain

Lexi woke up yesterday and immediately asked, "When do we get to go get my brother and see the beach?"  So, we decided to start a countdown chain to make it more tangible for her.  The middle peak is the day we fly out to Virginia and the last one is the day we are hoping to fly home.  Of course, this little guy could throw us for a loop and our schedule could go out the window.  That's what babies are great at doing.

Checking things off the list

After we talked to e-mom on Tuesday, Matt and I decided to go out to lunch at a restaurant I've wanted to try for quite a while.  I feel like we need to check some things like that off the list before we have a baby in the house.  Mmmm. . . Korean food.

We also went to see Cars 2 yesterday, but we were a little disappointed in the movie.  Maybe we'll try to catch one more movie before we head out to Virginia.

Why us?

This was a question that was floating around in my mind.  I just wonder what set us apart.  Out of all of the waiting families, why did e-mom choose us?  I asked her when we spoke with her yesterday.  She said, "You were simple and down-to-earth."  I  like to think that we are pretty down-to-earth.  She continued, "I looked at a lot of profiles that had all of these extreme vacations and they just seemed so over-the-top.  Your vacations were simple and family-oriented."  I told Matt that I was never more thankful for our Branson vacations and camping trips. 

I just find it so ironic and just another way that God proves that He works in the small things.  I remember looking at other PAP (potential adoptive parent) profiles and thinking, "We haven't been to the Great Wall of China or climbed the Mayan ruins.  What if e-moms think we won't be able to give this child an extravagant lifestyle?"  In the end, our family-friendly, relatively simple vacations are why we were chosen.  Thank you God.

Big Sister/Little Brother

I've been eyeing some of these shirts, but I don't want to order anything until we agree on the spelling of this little boy's name.  I also want to run the name by e-mom and it didn't come up in conversation today.

I think these customizable shirts from etsy are adorable.

This owl version is pretty adorable too.

I'm thinking that Lexi might also like a little bling.

I like the look of these appliqued shirts and I think they might be great for a photo shoot.

I have a feeling I'll do a lot more window shopping before I buy anything.    I did buy this little onesie on clearance at Target, but it doesn't have a big sister shirt to match.

Chat with E-mom!

We had the much-anticipated call with e-mom today.  E-dad ended up not being on the call.  Lissa (the birth parent specialist) was on the call with us to direct conversation if needed.  She basically only introduced us and said one other thing about something she would take care of (hospital details). 

Even though we completely understand that this is a hard time for e-mom, it was very hard for me to contain my excitement.  I acknowledged that I knew this was a hard time in her life, and I won't forget that even though we are excited.  She told us that she was really happy that we were so excited.  It would be weird if we weren't.

She wanted to know a bit more about the area we live in and we told her about our proximity to the city and the country.  We feel like we have the best of both worlds living in the suburbs.  She seemed to really like that.  We talked about our schools (which are awesome by the way).  She really wants this little boy to have a great education and so do we.

We asked her how she felt about us bringing our daughter with us and she was really excited about it.  It looks like we may be traveling before the baby is born to meet her and her family.  Exciting times are ahead of us!

Chat with our Adoptive Parent Specialist

We spoke with Laurie today.  She helped us think about how to handle the call with e-mom tomorrow.  I started with saying that during the call with e-mom I really wanted to just be myself, but I don't want to say the wrong thing.  Laurie reassured me that she thought we would have a great call if we were just ourselves and open and honest.  Whew! That is what I needed to hear.  I am an over-sharer in general but I can't imagine trying to hold back when I am talking to the woman who wants us to parent the baby she is carrying. 

She reassured us that it is OK to be excited, but we should also acknowledge that we understand how hard this time is for e-mom.  I can totally handle that.  I haven't really known how to manage my excitement at the possibility of having a new baby boy to cherish and love.  I also asked Laurie if it would be OK if I cried on the phone, because I'm also a crier.  She assured me that it would be OK and show that I'm real.  Well, good.  I'm a real over-sharing crier.  This should work out great!

Timeline Details

Thursday, June 16, 2011, 10:07 am:   Got a call from Lissa about a match!  She called my cell phone first and when I didn't answer, she called Matt's office.  Matt called my office and I answered the phone because my assistant was away from her desk.  He asked what I was doing and I replied, "Answering the phone because Jennifer is in the bathroom."

He then said, "I have the adoption agency on the line."  He could have led with that.

Lissa explained the situation to us including all of the medical and social forms she has about our e-mom and e-dad.  She said she would e-mail the documents to us and we could review them overnight and get back to her the next day.  She hung up and Matt told me he was taking off work early so we could review the documents at lunch.  In the mean time, I made a few phone calls (and no one answered!), saw a few patients, and told my best friend our exciting news!   I posted one of those vague facebook statuses that typically drive me crazy, but  I couldn't help myself.

 I'm pretty sure I won't be able to wipe the smile from my face for the rest of the day!

Lunch time:  Matt and I went to lunch and thought of a few questions we wanted to ask Lissa.  We called her from the car in the parking lot and she answered all of our questions.  We told her we most definitely want this baby!  She told us that we are more than welcome to sleep on it and call her in the morning.  We assured her that nothing would change overnight and we are matched!

We picked up Lexi from school and toured the infant room at her daycare.  We reserved a spot for our little boy.  It felt very surreal.  When we told Lexi that she was getting a baby brother in about a month, she said, "Cool."  Throughout the evening she started talking about all of the things she is going to teach her baby brother and the toys that she didn't really want to share (marbles and legos which typically aren't great for a baby anyway). ;)

I decided to post another facebook update:

It looks like we will be welcoming a baby boy into our hearts and home some time in July!

I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support we have received.  Our family is so incredibly blessed!

Friday, June 17, early morning:  Matt went to the grocery store to buy food for packed lunches and he was so discombobulated that he forgot half of the things he went there to get.  He was chaperoning a field trip for Lexi's class and I had to work.

Mid-Morning:  I got a call from the social worker with Datz Foundation in Virginia.  If the e-mom is out of state, our agency partners with a local agency to work with the e-mom.  We have to sign an agreement with that agency as well, but all fees are paid by our agency (from the money we pay them).  The social worker e-mailed the document and I printed it off.

 After I got off of work, I perused a new baby store that just opened this week, but I refrained from buying anything (amazingly).

1:00ish:  We met up at our bank and signed our match agreement in front of a notary.  We also set up the wire transfer to the agency.  The bank told us that it may not go out until the next business day.  That's fine as long as it gets there within 48 business hours of our signing the match agreement.  We drove down to the agency and dropped off the match agreement and they scanned and e-mailed our agreement with the Datz Foundation.

We went to Target because I just had to buy a couple things.  I finally caved and bought the Aden & Anais swaddling blankets that I've been eyeing.  Matt scoffed at the price, but I really wanted them.  I also bought a few little boy things that were on clearance.

Today, June 18th:  I started the morning with packing away all of the pink that I had out in the baby closet.  I took inventory of what we have and I tried to decide if I need to buy some newborn sizes.  I discovered that we have no boy bibs at all and I would really like to have a few overnight gowns (I love them for overnight diaper changes).

Tonight:  Matt and I are celebrating our ten-year wedding anniversary (which actually was June 8) and Lexi is going to spend the night at Nana's.  This may be one of the last nights that we have alone in a long time.  We plan to enjoy it.

Monday, June 20, 1:00pm:  We are scheduled to talk to our adoptive parent specialist (Laurie).  Laurie will advise us about how to handle the call with e-mom.  This seems to be a protocol that the agency has.  We have to talk to Laurie before we can talk to e-mom.

Tuesday, June 21, 11:00am:  THE conference call with e-mom! I can't wait for this call.  Lissa told us that e-mom can't wait for us to be involved and I can't wait to get to know her and her hopes and dreams for this baby boy.

After Tuesday, we'll know more about what the future holds.  E-mom has a doctor's appointment on Monday and that should give us a bit more information about the due date.  It has changed a few times (which happens in any pregnancy), but we should expect this little guy sometime in July.

55 Days

That is how long we were a waiting family.  We got the call this morning that an expectant mom picked us.  We are so excited.  It feels like such an amazing blessing.  It's almost surreal.

We do know a lot of details and yet there is so much we don't know.  We won't be able to talk to the e-mom until Tuesday and that seems like a very long time.

I saw this at Target today and snapped a picture:

Lexi is already excitedly talking about all of the things she is going to teach her little brother.  

Wisdom/Understanding

We have a new pastor of community development (I think that's his title anyway) at our church and he preached his first message (at our church) last weekend.  The message really spoke to me and I've found myself applying it a lot this week.  So, I thought I would share a shorter version of what he spoke about.  The message was based on this passage:

In Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night: and God said, Ask what I shall give thee.6 And Solomon said, Thou hast shewed unto thy servant David my father great mercy, according as he walked before thee in truth, and in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with thee; and thou hast kept for him this great kindness, that thou hast given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day.s7 And now, O Lord my God, thou hast made thy servant king instead of David my father: and I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in.8 And thy servant is in the midst of thy people which thou hast chosen, a great people, that cannot be numbered nor counted for multitude.9 Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?s10 And the speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing.11 And God said unto him, Because thou hast asked this thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life; neither hast asked riches for thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enemies; but hast asked for thyself understanding to discern judgment;ss12 Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee.13 And I have also given thee that which thou hast not asked, both riches, and honour: so that there shall not be any among the kings like unto thee all thy days.s14 And if thou wilt walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as thy father David did walk, then I will lengthen thy days.15 And Solomon awoke; and, behold, it was a dream. And he came to Jerusalem, and stood before the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and offered up burnt offerings, and offered peace offerings, and made a feast to all his servants. 1 Kings 3:5-15

Pastor Phil focused on the fact that Solomon first humbled himself: "I am but a little child."  Solomon was about 20 when he took the throne from my understanding.  I thought to myself how difficult and rare it is to see true humbling in our society.  Humbleness is not weakness, but truth.  We are but specks of sand.

The next main point is that Solomon could have asked God for anything and God would have granted it.  What would you ask for from God (or whatever power you believe in) if you were given the chance?  Many of us would ask for health (for ourselves and/or family), freedom from debt, peace in relationships,  or. . . who knows what.  In the end, all of those things are selfish.  Even health for our children or our children's children is ultimately selfish.  Solomon asked for wisdom/understanding (depending on the translation) so that he may be a wise and understanding ruler/king.  Because he was selfless God granted him so much more, but I believe that Solomon would have been an amazing king even if he was not blessed with riches, servants, honor, etc.  He had a heart for God and a heart for the people. 

So, what did I take from this that I applied to daily life?  When we ask God for health, wealth, wins, our desired outcome, etc. is that really pleasing to God?  I have often prayed that God's Will be done in a situation and that he gives me understanding of His Will.  I have prayed in the past for wisdom.  Now I make sure that is an integral part of my prayers.  May God grant me the wisdom to know the right choices and actions to make.  May I be understanding of whatever outcome that may lead to.  I think of this part of the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

I remember seeing it on the wall in my grandpa's bathroom for years and thinking that he must be a Christian if he had that prayer hanging in his bathroom.  It was many years later when I learned that it was the AA prayer and he had it because he was an alcoholic.  Sometimes I miss the innocence of youth. . . but I digress.

During this adoption process, we've had many friends and family members concerned for us.  Yet, we have a peace that God's proper timing will prevail.  While we may hope and dream of our desired outcome (a healthy baby in our arms and in our family), I rest in knowing that God has a plan that far exceeds our plans.  What we need is the wisdom to know what we can change and how to change it.  May God grant it to all of us.

Lexi's Version of "Our" Baby

We went to Saturday night church service (our church just started this about a month ago).  Lexi spent some time coloring and she was very proud of her creation.  When we went to pick her up after church, she excitedly exclaimed, "Mom, I colored our baby for you! It's colorful and beautiful!"  I agree.

Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other

I am by no means a professional book reviewer, but I wanted to recommend this book.  If you are in the adoption process, I'm sure you have a long list of books that your agency has recommended.  I've read many adoption books, and this is the first one I actually enjoyed the entire time.  Don't let the cover make you think it is only about international adoption. A variety of adoption scenarios are discussed.  Simon manages to tell his personal adoption story and those of many friends while still providing plenty of general adoption information.  I laughed. I cried. It was a great read.

Missed Calls

I've never been one to keep my phone right next to me.  In fact, the phone is set to vibrate more often then not.  While I do now keep my phone on my desk most of the time, I can't always answer it even if I want to.  So, I miss calls.  Typically it's no big deal.  My friends and family know me well enough to know that I will call back when I can.  I just don't want to miss THE call.  You know the one. ;)

Since May 24, I have received three calls from a number that I don't recognize.  I googled it and it is the area code is for the entire state of Montana.  I don't know anyone in Montana except a couple chiropractors who wouldn't be calling my cell phone anyway.  I answered the first of the calls and there was no one on the other end of the line.  The other two calls were at times that I didn't/couldn't answer. 

So, now my curiosity is killing me.  I know I'm over-thinking this, but I keep wondering if I should call the number.  I don't know who I really think it could be.  Well, that's a lie.  I've concocted this crazy idea in my head that some expectant mother in Montana tracked down my cell phone number (I'm sure it's easier than I'd like to think) and calls and listens to my voicemail message to see if my voice sounds kind enough to raise her child.  Then she hangs up, because what can you really say on a voicemail in that situation?

So, should I call the number back?  Is it weird to have three calls from the same unrecognizable number?  Am I over-analyzing this in an effort to avoid thinking about other things?