I'm starting to feel silly that we made the decision to share our decision to enter into our adoption journey with so many people in the midst of feeling so lost about the next step or direction. (Holy run-on sentence Batman.) Lots of well-meaning friends (and I really appreciate you!) have asked how the process is going and the short answer is that it's not really going anywhere at the moment.
I've tried searching the web for blogs, adoption laws, agencies, and forums. I really am searching for the good, because the bad seems to find people without even trying. There is an overwhelming amount of negative information about adoption out there. I've seen blogs of adopted adults that still feel lost and can't seem to find their identity. I've read horror stories about failed adoptions and years in court. I've found blogs that talk about the amazing blessing that adoption can be for the parents and children alike. Yet, they still need to remind the reader of the pain and torment and struggles.
I've never really been described as a big optimist or anything, but I just can't seem to believe that it is all that bad. I guess I want to find the happy idealistic yet realistic stories. I guess I need the encouragement. So, if you see them out there, send them my way. I've seen some, but there have got to more out there.
We haven't started the homestudy yet. There are different prices for international v. domestic and we haven't decided which way we are going yet. I continue to pray for guidance.
A big part of me still feels like there has got to be a toddler in the US who is supposed to be a part of our family. Part of me wants to go to Korea. I just don't know. . .