The Homestudy Visit

Today was the much-anticipated homestudy visit.  I cleaned and cleaned even though I have heard from everyone that it doesn't really matter how clean your house is.

The social worker (SW) got here right on time and started with my interview.  Matt was grateful that he was able to watch the end of the Duke game.

The SW asked about my childhood, my family, our parenting, how I feel about the adoption process, etc.  I gave her a tour of the house.  I had worried about all the little details and the only thing she actually wanted to see was a fire extinguisher and our emergency numbers.  She wanted to know that we had exit plans in case of emergency.

My mom and sister took Lexi to a parade that we go to every year and they arrived back so that my sister could be interviewed.  I don't know what she really asked Ashley, because I stepped out of the room, but it went well apparently.

The SW also asked Lexi some questions, but Lexi won't tell me what she talked about.  So be it.

She interviewed Matt alone and the two of us together.  It is sometimes difficult to come up with answers about yourself.  What are your strengths?  What are your weaknesses?  It was ultimately no big deal though.

As she was getting ready to leave she told us that if she had any concerns she would tell us right now.  (pause)  "I have no concerns."

So we passed.  Yay!  It will take her about two weeks to type up the homestudy (she was writing the entire time she was here), and then it will be sent for approval by the agency and ourselves.  The whole process should be over in two weeks to a month.  Then we will make our profile active and we could be matched with a birth mother at anytime.

We just found out this afternoon that another couple who is using the same agency as we are was matched with a born baby 3.5 hours after going active.  3.5 hours! I had tentative plans to get together with them in a couple weeks so that we could get to know each other better.  Now they are in New York getting their baby!  I am so excited for them.

Oh- Because I realize how tedious it can be to read a blog with no pictures, here are some pictures of our clean house ready for the homestudy!

Pretty Rainbow

Matt and I have discussed names a bit, but we aren't settled on anything just yet.  It is a fun thing to think about while we are in the midst of preparing for the homestudy.

Lexi declared that she has the perfect name for the baby, "Pretty!"
"Pretty?"
"Yes, Pretty Rainbow."
Well, I suppose that is an idea, but I'm pretty sure my undercover hippie status would be blown out of the water.
She's really thought it through too, "If it is a girl, she will be Pretty Rainbow Girl.  If it is a boy, he can be Pretty Rainbow Boy."  Brilliant!

I told her that Pretty Rainbow might just have to be her nickname for the baby.  She's seriously in love with the idea of naming the baby Pretty Rainbow.

Now, she said all of this right before bed last night, so I thought she might just let it go.  Nope.  The first she said upon waking this morning was, "You remember what I want to name the baby right?"

"I do."
"Pretty Rainbow Girl or Boy!"

I wish. . .

I was reading a book last night, and Lexi asked me what it was about.

"It's about people who were adopted, and the people who adopted them."

She asked, "Was I adopted?"
"No, you weren't adopted.  You grew inside of me.  Remember the pictures of me when I was pregnant?"
"Oh yeah."
Then she proceeded to ask about many relatives and friends.  "Were they adopted?"
"No, they weren't adopted."
Then she said, very matter-of-factly, "I wish I was adopted."
Now, this was not said in the "I wish I had different parents way."  We have only really discussed what a blessing adoption can be with her.  So, of course she wishes she could be adopted.
I told her, "If you were adopted, then I wouldn't be here with you now.  You would have another mommy."
"No.  I wish you would adopt me."
"I didn't need to adopt you because you grew inside of me."
"OK.  Let's read a story."

Preparing for Baby

I ran to the store the other day to return some Christmas gifts.  They sat in our closet for a couple months, and with the homestudy just around the corner, I've started cleaning out closets.

After I returned the items I started browsing the baby section and I just felt this urge that I needed diapers in the house.  So, I bought some.

Now, I plan on cloth diapering at home, because we really saw the benefits when we started with our daughter.  I have some that can fit a small baby, but not enough.  I feel the urge to buy some more cloth as well.

I started thinking about all of the necessities of a newborn more this weekend.  I started searching through all of the bins in our storage area and I could not find our newborn and 0-3 month clothes.  I mentioned it to my mom and it just so happens that the box of clothing I was searching for was in her garage.  My sister borrowed them when she had her baby and left them at my mom's

I went out to her house this weekend and we pulled out all of the little clothes.  I remembered my daughter in each of them.  My mom said she was amazed at my memory of which onesie had pants and which had a skirt.   There are many little pink outfits, but there are enough yellow and green outfits to put me at ease.

I guess I just needed enough baby stuff in the house to know that a newborn won't be naked and cold if we get a call that there is a baby born.  My mom assured me that her love of shopping will continue with the next grandchild.  I can sleep soundly tonight.

A Wrong/Right Turn

Do you know those moments when you are running late and you just don't have the patience to handle a wrong turn?  Well, those are the moments that God reminds me that His path is always better than the one I was trying to trudge along on my own.  Why did I have to have the pregnancy complications I had with Lexi's birth?  I truly believe that God designed this path for us and as we listen to His still small voice, we find our true path.  This path has led us to adoption and to preparing our home and hearts for the amazing life who will find us on our adoption journey.

So, today I had a perfect reminder of one of those wrong/right turns.  I had a busy schedule today.  We had church service from 9:30-11:00 and then I packed a lunch to eat while I was in route to a Children's Hospital.  My best friend is there with her youngest child who is battling a double kidney infection.  I had time to stop and get coffee for the exhausted parents, get to the hospital to visit for a little bit, get to a funeral (but miss the visitation), and go the dinner after the funeral.  As I pulled into the hospital parking garage my gas light came on, so I made a mental note to leave ten minutes early so I could get gas on my way to the funeral.  (This hospital isn't particularly in the best part of town.)

So, I took my friends their much-needed caffeine, chatted for a bit, and the baby woke up just around the time I probably should have left.  I stayed to play with her for a few minutes and left about ten minutes later than I should have.  It was worth it to hear her laugh for the first time in a few days.  I never realized how funny slinkies were.

Now I should add that I've never been to this particular hospital before and my sense of direction has never been one of my best features.  So, as I left the hospital room, my friends ask me repeatedly if I know how to get back to my car and/or the highway.  I assured them that I could figure it out.  Of course, I got lost.  I got off the elevator on the first floor and nothing looked very familiar, but surely the first floor is the correct floor to exit the hospital. Right?  So, as I wandered the halls trying to not seem lost and glancing at the time on my phone, God placed the perfect reminder for me in this flustered moment.

Obviously I had to take out my camera and snap a picture and hope that no one sees the crazy lost lady taking pictures of children's art in the hallway.  The art on the walls is all created by patients of the hospital.  So, I started to wonder what made this child make this piece of art?  Perhaps she was adopted?  I'll never know, but I'll thank God for the opportunity to see it.  I love these reminders that we are on the right path for our lives.  There was a lot of art on the walls, but this one caught my eye.  Thank you God.

As I turned another corner, a kind nurse asked me if I was lost.  I guess it was obvious.  She was actually heading to the parking garage as well, so she let me tag along.  It turns out that I got off on the wrong floor, and the correct floor is actually *G.  Go figure.  

I found my car, and I also found the highway without incident.  As I headed down the highway I decided to get gas in an area I was familiar with.  It still is not the best part of town, but I went to college there for three years and I was never once confronted by a homeless person or "questionable" person.  I had actually just discussed this with my friends.  I had no issue stopping for gas in this part of town.  

So, you can guess what happened, right?  I got to the gas station, grabbed my credit card, opened the door, and started paying for my gas.  When I turned around, there was man standing between me and my open door.  He asked for a quarter, which I did not have (on my person anyway).  He said he wanted to buy a piece of chicken.  Then he asked for a dollar.  Then he said that he just got out of the hospital and he was just trying to get to a shelter (there are shelters within walking distance of where we were).  He then said that he just needed to eat.  "Did you have that dollar?"

Of course I had a dollar, but I know full well that you never pull your wallet out in a situation like that.  I did tell him that I had some food in the car and I gave him a box of granola bars.  A conversation I had with friends just minutes before flashed through my mind.  People have asked if it is scary to be in this part of the city and my friend said, "As long as you don't 'act a fool' you have nothing to be afraid of."  Well, I don't think I 'acted a fool' and I think I tried to show the love and compassion that God calls me to show to anyone.  As I left the parking lot I said, "God Bless!"  Then I watched him approach the next car that pulled up to the gas tanks.  I can only pray that something in his life helps to turn it around.  It may just be a random stranger who pulls into the gas station.

So my wrong turns in the bad part of town may seem like nothing, but any little moment in a day can change the course of not only that day, but of a life.  I thank God for opening my eyes to things that may seem meaningless and opening my heart more than I can imagine on my own.

Homestudy Scheduled!

We finally have all of our paperwork in hand, and the homestudy is scheduled.  We have eleven days!  We were lucky that our social worker had time before my sister leaves for Spring Break.  My sister will only need to be here for about fifteen minutes of the meeting, but we are prepared for a long four-hour interrogation.

I can look around and see all of the things I need to clean.  Matt thinks I'm taking the cleaning a little too far, but he's never fully understood my neat-freakiness.

I'm also thinking about what to bake that morning?  Oh how I love the random thoughts that pop into my head during this process.

Homestudy Paperwork Done!

It's official.  I got the last reference letter in the mail today and we are ready to schedule the homestudy!  I've contacted our social worker and she is checking her schedule.  I already have a running list in my head of all of the things I need to re-clean (even though I know in my head that she is not looking for the dirt on the baseboards).